When You Don’t Belong Anymore

UPDATE: This whole post was based on a complete and total misunderstanding. As embarrassing as that is, it’s important to be able to stand up and say, “Hey, I was wrong!” It seems that it was not just me that this happened to and it was a natural renewal period that was sent out to a larger group. I was not singled out, I was not unloved, I was not being “broken up with” as I originally thought.

While I am glad I got a phone call and this got sorted out – I did not realize that people thought this post was mean. I was confused and a little hurt, but I did not intend to be mean. I think I need to work on my professional communication style. It’s not something I’ve ever been known for and really feel quite awful that anyone at VAnetworking.com thought I was personally angry at them. I wasn’t. I was just trying to work through my feelings.

Yes, I have feelings. Shocker, right? LOL

Once you’ve made your transition from a Virtual Asssitant to the next step of your business transformation, you may still be referred to as a VA by some people. Mostly VAs. That’s okay, nothing wrong with it, that’s how people knew you and know you and no one likes change.

But, eventually, you’ll find you don’t have a lot in common with the people you used to be around and then one day, they will disappear.

One of the main differences I’ve noted between Virtual Assistants that are Forever VAs vs. Transitional (or stepping stone) VAs is confrontation.

I’ve never met a Forever Virtual Assistant that would hear the word confrontation without cringing. I knew VAs that just disappeared forever rather than explain to a client that they were quitting due to poor treatment or late payment or some other very real reason that the client should know about so they don’t do the same thing to the next person.

Telling someone the truth is not mean. You can be up front an honest without being nasty or spiteful.

That is how I would have liked to find out I was booted from moderator status on a VA site. Simply, quickly, a two sentence email would have sufficed. Not just finding out I was locked out of half the forum and had no access to events when I went to visit the site to answer some questions and give some advice.

It puts me in a weird position. I would never pay for a membership to something that I only go to give advice on and never receive it. So…paying to help others isn’t really a route I’m willing to take. Which I’m sure they knew. So it seems that they didn’t want me around anymore. I wasn’t contributing enough. That’s okay.

I understand VAs don’t like confrontation, even when it would be the kindest route to take. So I hold no animosity for what happened and just wish everyone over there luck and a fast path to the place they desire to be. Even if they don’t particularly want me around anymore.

Things change, and the only options are to accept and move on or mope and waste energy.

Have you confronted anyone recently? How did it make you feel? Did it have a good result?